So I have to say starting out, that I’m not much of beer guy, BUT…have you heard the Bud Lite Real Men of Genious commercials which include the likes of the following;

1. Mr. Fancy Coffee Shop Coffee Pourer
2. Mr. Bumper Sticker Writer
3. Mr. Chinese Food Delivery Guy
4. Mr. Footlong Hot Dog Inventor
5. Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer
6. Mr. Giant Foam Finger Maker
7. Mr. Underwear Inspector No. 12
8. Mr. Over The Top Carb Counter
9. Mr. Dishonest Cable TV Hooker Upper
10. Mr. In The Car Nose Picker
11. Mr. Movie Theater Ticket Ripper Upper
12. Mr. Push-up Bra Inventor
13. Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer
14. Mr. Next Day Carpet Installer
15. Mr. Furniture Assembly Manual Writer
16. Mr. Really Stinky Breath Breather Outer
17. Mr. Really, Really, Really Bad Dancer
18. Mr. Cruise Ship Entertainer
19. Mr. Over-Zealous Foul Ball Catcher
20. Mr. Ceremonial First Pitch Thrower Outer

Go to this website and listen to a couple of them. They are hilarious.

http://thefuntimesguide.com/2004/10/bud_light_real.php

I have to say folks…this must be one of the most disgusting things you can do to your body.  Besides dislocating your knee, getting decapitated, and shoving tooth-picks under your finger nails…this has got to be the worst.  It’s probably not the worst FEELING injury, but it’s got to be the nastiest sounding.  I honestly have never heard anything like it before, and I’ve sustained multiple fractures, bruises, cuts, dings, twists, and smashes.  On Friday I was playing basketball at the rec center, and I had been there all of about 15 minutes and absolutely demolished my ankle.  I swear if I had looked down I could have seen the logo on the bottom of my shoe.  Disgusting.  The noise, the feeling, what the other players were saying it looked like.  All disgusting.  But anyhow…it’s already starting to feel a bit better, and I’m hoping to be back up there at the rec throwing down the sky hook on a regular basis.

There’s some funny stuff here, check out the one from Thailand!!

http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/323931/this_is_possible_only_in.swf

slack·er  (slkr)

n.

1. One who shirks work or responsibility: “In terms of their outlook on the future, slackers regard tomorrow with a studied cynicism or . . . don’t even conceive of one” Julie Caniglia.

2. One who tries to evade military service in wartime; a draft dodger.

O.k….o.k…I have been quite the slacker the last week or two.  Of course, the definition in my mind plays off a little more harsh than what I see in myself regarding this blog…BUT…I have been known to dodge a draft or two.  Well, technically I wasn’t born yet, but it could still be seen as draft dodging in some eyes.  I could go making excuses and throw out rediculous reasons as to WHY I have been slacking, like say “I just adopted three German Shepperds, two Pythons, and a tap-dancing Lebanese Orphan.”  Or, “My water broke at the most un-expected time, ruining my weekend of football, basketball, and winter league baseball.” and better yet, ” The steroids left me in a state similar to that of Terry Shaivo, which my friends clearly took advantage of when they buried my laptop in the Northern Sierras.” 

 However, I will choose not to make excuses because as I have been told many a time…”Excuses are like the place where you get hemorrhoids, everybody has one.” 

 So I will apologize to the three of you…well, two of you (I guess I should stop counting myself as a reader), and offer as much thanks as I can for continuing to read my last post about Jeremy Stevens…UGH. 

Hopefully in the near future, I can offer you bigger, BETTER, and MORE HILARIOUS posts that can brighten your day.  BUT WAIT!!  If you act now, you will receive the double set for only fifteen dollars more!!  This is a once in a life-time deal!!  You can’t find this anywhere in the stores, so quick, if you call in the next 10 minutes you will receive your GOLD edition for FREE!!  That’s FREE FOLKS!!  You will get in the mail, the regular edition, double set, and GOLD edition all in one package!!  DON’T pass up this once in a life-time opportunity!!

Call 1-800-I cant believe I am spending money on this crap that I probably won’t get in the mail     

 Prices subject to change in all 50 states, not valid in california, alaska, washington, texas, maine, hawaii, new mexico, jamaica, and any other state not listed in the above, each product has been tested and proven to cause cancer, please be aware that cancer is at limited quantities, and only available while supplies last, given that your credit card will be processed by someone not able to speak english do not expect to be charged the actual amount for the product that you are most likely not to receive. 

IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE AND MY SWEETEST DREAM AT THE SAME TIME…HE IS KILLING ME!!!!

WHAT A WEEKEND!!!!  Thanksgiving was awesome, and so was having a few days off!  I went to my bosses house (my dad’s cousin) and we had the usual of Turkey, Sweet Potatoes, Cranberries, etc.  It was delicious.  I think I ate a little too much and so the combination of an overstuffed stomach and an exaggerated session of catch with the pigskin caused me to try and burp up what remained of my supper.  No need to worry though, I caught it before it came all the way out. 

I want to know some of your high-lights from Thanksgiving!  Any good stories?  Crazy happenings?  Crop circles and Sasquach sightings are always entertaining…but let me know what YOU happened to be most entertained by this weekend.   

So I get a little bit caught up in Sports sometimes, I can’t help it.  Well…maybe I can, but I don’t want to try.  This weekend was a huge weekend all around, if anybody was paying attention.  Ohio State v. Michigan…Chargers v. Broncos…Colts v. Cowboys…McNabb v. Season Ending Injury…Shaun Alexander v. The Grass at Monster Park.  All of these things were very very exciting, and really made the weekend great.  But there was one thing that made it awesome!!  And that was that my mom decided she is going to Brazil to hopefully adopt an orphan brother and sister.  I am not sure all of the details yet, but she will be leaving next week.  I have an adopted sister from Guatamala, and many think that I am adopted because of my rediculous good looks and amazing athletic ability that can’t be found on my mother’s side.  (kidding…) But anyways…she will be leaving soon and hopefuly will return with a really rad little brother for me to mold and form to my liking.  I can’t wait.  

PUTNAM, Conn. (Nov. 17) – Two armed thugs tried to rob of line of people waiting to buy the new Playstation 3 gaming console early Friday and shot one who refused to give up the money, authorities said.

The two confronted a “bunch of people who were in line” outside a Wal-Mart  store shortly after 3 a.m. and demanded money, said Lt. J. Paul Vance, a spokesman for the state police. The new Sony consoles are selling for around $500 to $600.

“One of the patron’s resisted. That patron was shot,”

All of this and it’s still not better than XBOX 360. 

As many of you probably DON’T know, Bobby Knight (easily agitated Texas Tech basketball coach) is in the news again.  During Texas Tech’s game against lowly Gardner Webb, Knight slapped a player in the chin in what was a self proclaimed attempt to raise the player’s confidence.  There has been outrage over this incident, as well as an out-poring of support for the NCAA’s second winning-est coach. 

I can’t say that I know what was being said, or what the player had done.  But there is speculation that Knight was correcting him for mistakes during the game, and when the kid had his head down, he popped him on the chin in order to get him focused and confident again. 

I cannot believe there are so many wussy people in the world that think this is the most horrible thing they have heard since Hiroshima.  Wide-Spread pandemonium over this incident only reflects the wussification of our youth today, and our society as a whole.  It’s getting worse and worse by the second, and I can’t stand it!  Throughout the country the game Tag…you know, the child-hood game that promotes physical activity and the occasional tap on the shoulder,  has been outlawed on many school-grounds.  This would include schools in Boston, MA and shamefully Spokane, WA.  Apparently the reasoning behind this is that too many kids are getting hurt, and it’s a very very dangerous game to be played.  How many children have you heard of taking career enders while playing tag during 3rd recess?  uhhhhhhhh…gee…can’t say I can count too many.  Now how many kids do you know that PLAY tag?  uhhhhhhhh…gee…quite a bit more than the amount that have taken career enders.  i.e head bonks, goose eggs, knee scratches, etc. 

And people wonder why more and more kids have social problems.

GO BOBBY KNIGHT!!!! Don’t listen to the insane critics…  

Since this is the best time of year for me sports-wise, I thought I would offer a little help to those who are less informed. 

To start off, I’ll let you know that college basketball is by far the most passionate and exciting sport in America.  Now you can make a case for college football, and MAYBE some NFL football teams, but in my highly qualified opinion, they just can’t compare to NCAA Basketball. 

So to help any of you out, I will offer my expert  knowledge on your favorite school, and how they will fair in the new season.  You might ask yourself how I could possibly know such things, or where I could find answers to your questions.  Well, it just so happens that I was born with infinate knowledge regarding college sports.  So ask away, and I will answer.  Here is a list of possible questions.

Will my team be good this year?  Who will be the best player?  Will they reach the NCAA Tournament?  How far will they go in the tournament?  Will the new coach be good or bad?  Where did you get so smart?  Etc. 

By the way, I don’t claim to know everything…but pretty close:)